Fresh Wes

While driving around, me and my roommate noticed Shakespeare’s Trophy Shop in Santa Monica. Interested in finding a sweet fantasy football trophy, we decided to scope it out.

We began browsing the trophy collection, eventually settling on a bronze and wood Heisman trophy replica. We were elated, high-fiving in celebratory fashion over our selection. But something

caught my eye. Amongst the faux special olympic ribbons and “nice try” soccer trophies was a glorious treasure. We found a chromed out man throwing around serious weight on the incline press.

Immediately we knew this trophy was destined to be the legendary prize award to the victor of our newly planned annual Man Competition. The owner of the shop created it right there on the spot, crafting our legendary monument to testosterone in about 5 minutes.

After creating this masterpiece, the trophy store owner started to change. His eyes changed from delightful to envious. He kept repeating “my precious” as

he stared deeply at his majestic creation. We quickly paid and left, learning a valuable lesson: The Man Competition Trophy is highly coveted. If you are not manly enough, and happen to gaze upon it, you will be overtaken by greed and awe.

Only those daring and brave enough to enter the arena will be worthy enough to vie for the trophy. Are you man enough? Are you a man amongst boys?

And it’s not a crotch rocket either.

This past weekend the weather was really awesome, and everyone and their mother went to the beach and/or the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica. And since I live near the beach, this meant getting to and finding parking at Baja Fresh was a nightmare. That got me thinking, I need to find an alternative method of transportation that is less gay than roller blading. Since Segways were never cool, I had to go with a bike.

Since everybody who owns a bike feels the need to shit-spew Bike propaganda , I feel the need to defend myself. These are not reasons I wanted to get a bike:

1. Commuting - Get sweaty before work? Doubtful!
   
2. Picking up ladies - Nothing says “playa” like spokes
3. Environment - For every mile I bike, I make sure I drive 5
4. Safety - I’ll pull a Ben Roethlisberger before I rock a helmet
5. Errands - They are not called errands, BUT called doing shit. On a bike, this requires a basket and a uterus
   

Those are are totally valid reasons for some people - just not for me. Here are my reason’s I got the bike:

1. Day Drinking - Nothing says fun like a BUI
2. Basketball - Played at a court near my house - everyone wondered why we drove. I didn’t wonder. We’re lazy.
3. Parking - Parking sucks in LA. Trying to get a validation after using an ATM is painful.
4. Gas - $4 a gallon? What is this Dom P?
5. Bike By Shootings - Nobody expects that shit. Especially not kids.

I bought a new beach cruiser from the XYZBikes.com website. They delivered it the next day and I built it myself (that’s manly right?). The color is gray, but I prefer to call it Gunmetal Gray.

So I went for my first ride last night, just to break it in.  It was pretty sweet and I think I’m starting a small gang with the kids down the street.  Let them know this is our hood and we got to represent hard.

This summer I am planning on creating a competition to find who is this manliest among me and my friends.  Although no where near as manly as the World’s Emotionally Strongest Man Competition, this contest will be unique and most likely tailored to things I’m good at. I don’t know the exact date, but I assure you it will be the manliest day of the year. The winner will get a trophy of a flexed bicep or something with similar masculinity.

I haven’t exactly planned out the scoring system yet, but here are some of the proposed events:

Proposed Events:

• Parallel parking
• Football accuracy contest
• Poker game
• Question and answer segment
• 25lb curl competition
• Arm wrestling (both arms)
• Chug contest
• Getting 10 girls at the bar to sign your bicep
• 1 hour fishing tournament
• Mini golf challenge

Any thoughts or idea proposals?

I don’t even know if I need to train… I’m gonna take this competition

IceMan (2:39:01 AM): who can resist hamsicle
IceMan (2:39:18 AM): it’s just a ham flavored popsicle
LiL Fenn  (2:39:45 AM): that is soo nasty
IceMan  (2:40:42 AM):  it’s just this huge ham steak
IceMan( 2:40:53 AM): so we just bite pieces out of it while it’s still frozen
LiL Fenn  (2:40:54 AM): who ate the other half of it
IceMan (2:40:58 AM): me and wes
LiL Fenn (2:40:59 AM): that is soo nasty
LiL Fenn  (2:41:10 AM): like thinking about it makes me wanna barf
IceMan (2:41:38 AM): you’re only saying that cause you’ve never had it
LiL Fenn (2:41:48 AM): i dont even like ham!
LiL Fenn 117 (2:41:51 AM): let alone a frozen ham
IceMan (2:42:24 AM): hamsicle is un-unlikeable

I made this website/blog to replace my old website with something that achieved the same goal - letting you know how awesome I think I am. You see, my current Penn State student portfolio is going to be extinct.

It remains the last remnant of college I have, excluding the arsenal of drinking skills and regrettable incidents. As a web developer and marketer, having a web presence is a must.

I also made this site to keep up with new web technologies and play around with them. I also wanted refine my search engine optimization skills somewhat.

So, I first must give my props to Wordpress. And to the random programmers who developed the Wordpress theme I am using. Click to download the Freshy Theme.