And it’s not a crotch rocket either.

This past weekend the weather was really awesome, and everyone and their mother went to the beach and/or the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica. And since I live near the beach, this meant getting to and finding parking at Baja Fresh was a nightmare. That got me thinking, I need to find an alternative method of transportation that is less gay than roller blading. Since Segways were never cool, I had to go with a bike.

Since everybody who owns a bike feels the need to shit-spew Bike propaganda , I feel the need to defend myself. These are not reasons I wanted to get a bike:

  1. Commuting - Get sweaty before work? Doubtful!
  2. Picking up ladies - Nothing says “playa” like spokes
  3. Environment - For every mile I bike, I make sure I drive 5
  4. Safety - I’ll pull a Ben Roethlisberger before I rock a helmet
  5. Errands - They are not called errands, BUT called doing shit. On a bike, this requires a basket and a uterus

Those are are totally valid reasons for some people - just not for me. Here are my reason’s I got the bike:

  1. Day Drinking - Nothing says fun like a BUI
  2. Basketball - Played at a court near my house - everyone wondered why we drove. I didn’t wonder. We’re lazy.
  3. Parking - Parking sucks in LA. Trying to get a validation after using an ATM is painful.
  4. Gas - $4 a gallon? What is this Dom P?
  5. Bike By Shootings - Nobody expects that shit. Especially not kids.

I bought a new beach cruiser from the XYZBikes.com website. They delivered it the next day and I built it myself (that’s manly right?). The color is gray, but I prefer to call it Gunmetal Gray.

So I went for my first ride last night, just to break it in.  It was pretty sweet and I think I’m starting a small gang with the kids down the street.  Let them know this is our hood and we got to represent hard.