Fresh Wes

Zack Morris, one-time teen heart throb and All-time pimp, knows his way around the ladies. Zack had complete control of the hotties at Bayside High. He is a god. In fact, I have based most of my life around his teachings. From slamming Stacey Carosi behind her father’s watchful eye, breaking racial barriers and friendships by hooking up with Lisa Turtle, or weaning Jessie Spano off caffeine pills, Zack was a true player.

I mean, look at that picture… does it meet all the qualifications of a true pimp?

Does it have:

a) Retro button down shirt, with a pattern that only pissed off Native American descendants would rock
b) Thumbs tucked firmly in the pockets of acid washed denim jeans
c) Sweet 1992 Casio digital watch
d) Lightning blonde hair majestically captured by chestnut-colored roots?
e) NO FUCKING BELT WHATSOEVER

Yes. Zack Morris doesn’t give a fuck about what you think.

So how does the greatest character in television history tie in with pirated software and the RIAA?

Simple. Zack knew the importance of going to the movie theater.

Zack would take his dates to the movies, because the theater was his arena for gettin’ his . Can you imagine the Zack Attack himself, downloading a movie then inviting Kelly Kapowski to his house? You know his parents are going to be home, which also makes things even more awkward. Do you think she cares what a torrent is or that he has the latest DiVx codecs?

Do you really think the self-proclaimed “blonde Tom Cruise” is going to make his move on his parents couch or a crusty futon? Fuck no. Zack is going straight to the theater (in Mr. Belding’s car no less), where his fake stretch-yawn will be smoothly transitioned into an arm around the shoulder. This deadly combo move mysteriously incapacitates the opposite sex. Could it be all charm and no harm? Or did Zack enlist Screech to create a potent form of Roofie deodorant? All we know is that Zack needs the romantic setting of the movie theater to get his hot sauce on.

The movie industry should take cue from Zack and realize the value the movie theater can provide. Zack Morris doesn’t let the cost of a ticket influence his game - he would rather concoct a crazy scheme to earn the cash than bitch about it. The content will drive itself. But the method of delivery must be where the money is earned.

Experience, expense, and convenience are the three key elements of success. They are all interrelated. People will pay money as long as convenience and/or the experience are at a premium. Zack Morris knows the real deal. Don’t even get me started on AC Slater, who finishing move was an immaculate combination of his Jheri curl-mullet manifestation and his dimples. Fatality.

I was just glancing at the top 100 sites according to web ranking system at Alexa. I extremely surprised to see the high rankings of several video sites. Even more surprising was the amount of file storage sites.

Obviously, YouTube is no stranger to traffic and user submissions. However I was shocked to see Megavideo and Veoh. As well as porn sites YouPorn and Redtube (which I won’t link for obvious reasons!).

Amongst the filesharing sites and storage sites there were plenty.

• MiniNova
• Rapidshare
• MegaUpload
• YourFileHost
• MediaFire

I’m am sure I am overlooking many, just because I didn’t recognize some of the sites or I didn’t look too hard. I bet the number increases dramatically when you dig down into Alexa’s top 500.

The point I am trying to make is that every industry needs to look at video as a legitimate contender online. I know - it’s no shocking revelation, but I was surprised at the popularity of some of these sites. The file storage sites undoubtedly host pirated content.

Piracy can not be avoided because it is convenient and it’s free. Sure, most people are willing to pay a couple bucks to rent a DVD. But they would rather download it free and watch it immediately, as oppose to driving to the video store or waiting three days for NetFlix.